Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
nutella sex= disaster
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
