doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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