how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
