This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just cut my nipple shaving
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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