Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
