Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
