just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
