I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
