Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
