you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
