I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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