I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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