Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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