After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
