woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
