no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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