I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
