It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You are the jesus of drinking
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
i think im in europe. pls send help
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
