i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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