my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
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