He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
3 2 1 whiskey
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
