Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
