walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
