i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
