i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
