btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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