At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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