I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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