Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Randomize
