the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
