New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
