i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
