stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
