I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
