I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
