I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
