sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
