I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
