no you cant smoke seaweed
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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