okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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