Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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