Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
