the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
