it hurts more in the daytime
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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