I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
