Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
