I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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