Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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