is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
