im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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